Yesterday I got the worst email from my advisor.
He forwarded me an email full of criticism for my conference talk from a "top" guy.
The top man sounds really mad. He used all the extremely bad words on the world.
and titled the email as "A word of advise".
I received lots of kind or highly-praising words from other top guys.
I was surprised by this email.
It is astonishing.
My adviser cc this email to my coauthor and colleague. Furthermore he told this email to my other colleagues in the same subgroup. He always only talks about the bad things and never talks about the really good and positive response from peers. After the tedious comments from my advisor, I fight back and gave several convincing examples that my work and talk deserves not only criticism but also praise. My advisor withdraws a little bit but still he wanted to defeat me. What I cannot understand is why he wants to discourage his student and makes him depressed.
At the right beginning when I got this email, I was surprised and got excited. I told myself it is a good reason to work hard and perform nicely. After the group meeting and lots of discussion with my wife, I turned to be angry. It is unfair to only focus on the dark side of my work and talk.
Actually my work and talk are quite successful.
My heart, however start to hurt even though I think those words are just noise.
I talked a lot about those related issues with my wife on the way to home. And when I arrived at home, I found I lost the key for the newly repaired door.
Being depressed and unhappy, I went back to the university and look for the key all the way.
Now, I hate my advisor and the "top" man.
Finally, I found the big key quietly lying on the gound at the door of office. It is clear that I was angry when I left my office and moved too strongly.
Suddenly, I gain strength again and become happy. I joke to my wife that a small victory can save a broken heart at the right time.
Never give up!
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